COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO CONNECTION
BUT NEURODIVERSE COUPLES DON'T SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE
"Every conversation ends up in a fight."
R.S. - Autistic spouse
"Now we just barely talk."
K.P - Neurotypical spouse
"We're roommates, at best."
J. M. - Neurotypical spouse
"The constant criticism is awful. Sometimes I just hide from her."
A. P. - Autistic Spouse
"I just want to be heard"
C. M. - Neurotypical Spouse
"I want to understand what she needs from me."
R.M. - Autistic Partner
"I want us to be be close and connected!"
T. M - Neurotypical Spouse
YOU CAN'T FIX A PROBLEM THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
SO LET'S CHANGE THAT.
PERCEIVING IS BELIEVING
This is perhaps THE BIGGEST cause of PAIN and DISCONNECTION in autism spectrum relationships.
Putting it simply..
We all assign meaning to conversations and interactions from our own point of view.
Autistic partners often fail to recognize that partners have their OWN perspective.
Neurotypical partners often assign the WRONG meaning to their partner's behavior and actions.
Both partners contribute to the painful disconnect.
Autistic partners BELIEVE their own perceptions to be truths, or facts, without recognizing the perspective, opinions, and feelings of their partners.
Because of this, autistic individuals PERCEIVE CRITICISM in conversations where partners present different perspectives or opinions. The MEANING they take away is "I was attacked." "I'm being criticized."
Neurotypical partners PERCEIVE CONTROL or ABUSE...GASLIGHTING. The MEANING they take away is "I am not valued. I am not loved," or "I'm being manipulated and abused."
Autistic partners often respond with anger, meltdowns, or shut-downs, and shut-outs. Future interactions may be AVOIDED. The gap between you has been widened.
Neurotypical partners feel deeply hurt, confused, and desperate for acknowledgment, affirmation and validation. They may share their pain in the hopes that their partners will at least care that they're hurting.
But, the the cycle repeats from the beginning.
And BOTH partners - who actually love and care for each other - have unknowingly reinforced the gap that is widening between them.
The STARTING point in BREAKING this cycle is UNDERSTANDING the stages of COMMUNICATION and FIXING the BREAKDOWN.
Most couples have NO IDEA HOW to communicate, and this is CRITICAL in AUTISM SPECTRUM RELATIONSHIPS.
- Discover WHY most communication breaks down before it even starts - WHY this happens and HOW to fix it.
- Learn HOW to HEAR and be HEARD
- Dramatically decrease the frequency of arguments.
- Learn to quickly mediate disagreements with mutually acceptable solutions.
- Increase joint decision-making.
- Decrease power-struggles.
- Decrease criticism and resentment.
- Increase affirmation and validation.
- Increase your CONNECTION as a couple.
IN MY OWN AUTISM RELATIONSHIPS I FELT SO MISUNDERSTOOD.
I was accused of being critical (and I didn't understand why).
I felt hopeless and confused.
I thought I was losing my mind.
I felt ashamed that I couldn't fix my relationship. I felt angry. I felt HURT!
Sometimes I even had moments of uncharacteristic rage that shocked and scared me.
I tried hard. I requested talks so we could figure things out. My autistic partners both hated the talks, though.
BOTH OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS TAUGHT ME THAT COMMUNICATION IS A CRITICAL FOUNDATION.
My marriage of 19 years to the father of my children ended, after multiple attempts for help with different counselors. I realized years later that he is on the autism spectrum.
The other relationship with a man on the autism spectrum ended after 2.5 years.
I also learned that I was going about it all wrong and I figured out why.
NOW MY CAREER IS DEVOTED TO HELPING MEN AND WOMEN
FIX THEIR OWN AUTISM SPECTRUM RELATIONSHIPS
So, I created this COMMUNICATION TRANSFORMATION program to help individuals and couples in autism spectrum relationships FIX THE COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN.
...and instead learn to CONNECT.
Is this for Couples or Just for Me?
Can I Watch This Content More Than Once?
Hi I'm Jodi!
You've found your way here, so that tells me you are confused. If you're in a long-term relationship, you're hurting. Maybe you don't even know much about the autism spectrum, and you're pretty scared - because a lot of what you've read online is daunting.
You want so badly to be happy, and to have the great relationship that you imagined - but, you're wondering if those hopes and dreams will ever become a reality.
I understand you. I've been there, myself - and I've met countless men and women who are in relationships like yours. You are my people and I'm here to help.
I look forward to helping you discover a whole new world of possibility in your relationship and in your life!